Losing Books is Why I’m Choosing Scribd

I love reading. One of my favorite things to do, is read several books on a subject, all at once, and take notes on their overlap and relativity. My goal with my reading like this, is something I picked up by going to college.

You’d go to class, and be expected to have read 30 pages out of five books, on one or two subjects, per class. That’s what I’m doing now. I’m building my own classes.

I start by researching the different classes in a study that I want to learn. For instance, I’m currently studying the same classes you can find syllabi online for in journalism. This means, I’m replicating assignments from home, and reading all the same books.

This also means that in between jobs, I have at one time, at least a single book on me. Here is where the title of this article comes in. I lost a book the other day.


The ImperfectionistsThe Imperfectionists by Tom Rachman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I loved the book. It’s amazing how informative novels can be. Especially on a psychological level.

I didn’t reeeeally finish the book. I lost it… But I got passed all the parts, I think, that I had wanted, and set out, to read.

I aspire to be a journalist. So I definitely add this to that shelf. A great a starter for a young self-taught journo and citizen journalists everywhere.

View all my reviews


The book was an intro to journalism and the newsroom novel. It kicked butt for how much of an easy read it was, it’s subject matter of course, the vocabulary, the characters, the smaller stories, and the way each perspective was linked together. It was a beautiful book while I had it.

Well, somewhere between having a shit day, and reading, I lost my book. I put it down. Someone recognized  for all of its glory. Whatever. The point is this: I cried.

Those tearsmeant a lot to me. I was at the end of the book. The final pages were within sight.

While,it would be tragic to lose all of my books at once, perhaps there’s something good in a Kindle Fire or something. I don’t know yet, because I’ve never tried it. Well, that time has come.

I’m going to dip my toes into e-reading. Especially as someone that’s looking at publishing an e-book or two, I figure, it’s about time that I know what the market is like.

I’m starting simple however. I’m enrolling for Scribd, and starting with Audiobooks. I’m going to finish off the hard copies in my stack of books, and then I’m going to see how many of those journalism class books I can find on there, and hopefully for free.

Stay tuned for updates!
Do you use an e-reader or Scribd? Tell me about your experience!

Advertisements

National Get-Over-Seasonal-Depression Day

“Coincidence that National Compliment Day and National Peanut Butter Day are on the same day? I think not. May as well call today National Get-Over-Seasonal-Depression Day.”

From my personal Facebook.

Wednesday, Jan. 24, is National Peanut Butter Day and aside from the history of the day, there’s a pretty neat poll going on at Syracuse.com: Crunchy or Creamy? Which one is your dominant choice?

I personally enjoy chunky.

It’s also National Compliment Day however. Similar to World Compliment Day celebrated March 1, the United State’s holiday was started in 1998. For more about it, here’s the history.

Together the holidays at the end of January could be called National Get-Over-Seasonal-Depression Day.

During the winter months, a lot of people, maybe due to less sunshine and Vitamin D, or perhaps for other causes, feel depression. It’s also called Seasonal Affective Disorder.Counter-intuitively there’s actually less suicides in the winter than in early Spring, probably due to depressive lethargy.

Therefore not only should the date be National Get-Over-Seasonal-Depresion Day, but in fact it should be an educational holiday for getting over the disorder and staying over it, and any other instances of depression and suicidal ideation, as more active whether moves in.

I love peanut butter and I love compliments. It’s a win-win! However, these tactics may not be enough for getting out of a depressive state.

For instance, anecdotally, I was recently experiencing my own bit of depression. Not entirely due to the season, but more-so because of the state of my finances. I’m in debt and barely making it paycheck to paycheck, gig to gig, and I’m only just now getting a handle over how to not only make more money, but save more, spend less, invest better, and knock out debt.

Growing up, and especially as a confused and introspective and introverted transgender child  I attempted suicide a number of times. I’ve been taught several ways to handle that depression and the manic anxiety that it unleashes alongside suicidal ideation. Regardless, I feel like every bout with depression is a new one and learning to handle it is always a new fight, with no experience to work off of.

The best method I’ve found is not only simply feeling the emotions but to take ownership of them.

The other day my situation felt completely insurmountable, so I became depressed. I thought to myself, “I can’t hold back these tears, so I’ll give myself ten minutes to embrace them.” When ten minutes had passed, I had needed to get myself ready to go to a meeting, but I was shaking, so I poured myself a shot of liquid courage to wrap it up, and then got myself ready and set out.

I don’t recommend vodka to stop the shaking or to put a cap on the situation, but it was something that I knew would smooth over whatever was coming next. It’s important to take control over every part of your life in these situations. Not only give yourself a strict limit to tears, but also tell yourself, “Okay, that’s it, I’m done.”

Mindfulness. Is. Key.

If you’re not allergic to peanuts, there’s a great treat you can give yourself when you successfully overcome these kinds of situations. Honey Roasted Peanut Butter. YUM!

Positive reinforcement helps build better behaviors. For instance, if what you want to do is meditate to calm down, do that, and then make yourself some sweet tea or something that you like. Try to regulate this too though, because it needs to be a novelty to work.

Novelty moves the world.

It’s why we have holidays like National Compliment Day, and National Peanut Butter Day, or tomorrow’s Opposite Day. It’s the spice of life, and it’s what brands such as Taco Bell, Mountain Dew, and even Geico rely upon in order to sell more.

Treat your depression with novel methods, but always be in control. Mindfulness gives you the power that novelty bolsters but also takes away. Becuase you may not always be able to go to the park for a walk, or eat a spoonful of peanut butter, there’s only one thing, one person, who is always there: you.

And you are beautiful.

Happy National Popcorn Day!

Not long ago, a friend, OT,  had suggested to me a particular diet plan. He wasn’t suggesting it to me because I had asked him for advice or that I had needed the advice, but it came with a story. OT told me about how he stayed sexy-skinny — my words, not his — when he was in that crowd, where he needed to be “sexy-skinny.”

The trick? The Two P’s: Popcorn and Pickles. I want to add, if it were my diet suggestion, it would’ve been the Three P’s; I. Love. Peanut Butter. (Three P’s and a B?)

Today is National Popcorn Day, so of course, I was reminded of this story, and I simply had to share it. It seemed like pretty great advice from someone who isn’t a nutritionist but could hang with the twinks. Also, OT is chock-full of sage advice, so this is your one warning: there are more tidbits of wisdom coming soon.

But let’s get into the why…

When he was on tour, OT was around slender, almost sickeningly skinny, young gay men. As an artist, selling his work, he was the advertisement for that work. So he had blend in with his audience. This meant also being worryingly skinny.

Leading up to being on tour, he ate only the two ingredients: popcorn and pickles. While popcorn is usually delicious — theatre butter, oil, vinegar, cheddar, etc. — he ate it dry. Just. Popped. Corn.

Think that’s bad? He didn’t do it for the taste. Like celery, chewing popcorn takes a negative effect on calories. Unlike most things you eat, chewing on these two crunchy choices will burn more calories than their worth.

That doesn’t leave you with a lot to burn…

You’re not actually getting the calories you need for the day, with eating only popcorn. Your stomach by about midday is crying out for more. So what can you do?

Pop open your pickle jar!

Apparently, pickles, like their cucumber companions, are fantastic at easing your stomach. Similar to ginger! Not only all that, but that pickle or two… or three (if you’re me), is the only thing bringing home the calories!

Got the grumblies? Eat a pickle! Feeling ill in the tum-tum? Pick a pickle! Feeling a lil worn out? Take a load off, and take a pickle with ya!

So as I sit back and watch some documentaries with a notebook and pen in hand, you can be sure, I’m eating popcorn, and I’m thinking of OT. Happy National Popcorn Day!


Wanna know more about popcorn?

I did! So I found a little history here. You should too!


Love popcorn as much as me?

Maybe even more? Comment with your best popcorn photo!

Manning: Whistleblower to Senator?

NORTH BETHESDA, Md. (AP) — Chelsea Manning intends to run for the U.S. Senate in Maryland, returning the transgender former soldier to the spotlight after her conviction for leaking classified documents and her early release from military prison. Manning, 30, filed her statement of candidacy with the Federal Election Commission on Thursday, listing an apartment…

via Chelsea Manning Files To Run For U.S. Senate In Maryland — CBS New York

About Me, #3: Transgender, 4 Pros, Cons

“For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others — and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.” — Matthew 19:12, New International Version

A young girl watches America’s Next Top Model Season Eleven (the one with Isis King no less!) on TV after school. A forlorn expression watches, enviously, bodies on a screen, as hers mimicks them on the runway. Putting one foot directly in front of the other and moving her barely teenage hips, she catches a slight snag, a pinch, and a pain — she adjusts her scrotum.

Growing up trans is the most confusing thing in the world. Don’t argue with me about this, because there’s no way that there could be anything more confusing than feeling like someone else, trying to be a second someone else, and ending up being a completely third someone else, while in the end, not at all being oneself. Just trying to explain this leaves me feeling dizzy.

It’s amazing having grown up and gone through all of that confusion, all of that subsequent anger, and holding so much resentment for so much, for so many people, and for so many years, and then finally, to turn on the TV one day and behold! There’s not only a famous Olympian on television openly transgender, but apparently kids too. Some of these children had the access to speak about how they felt and were supported in beginning their transitions at a young age — how absolutely marvelous!

I’m sure not many people experience having relationships with their family like these lucky kiddos. Personally, there’s a lot of people that I’ve lost contact with immediately following coming out to them as transgender. I often wonder what my life would have been like if my family had asked me about my gender at a young age and helped me in this way. Would I still be a journalist? Would I still have the same interests? Would I still be as strong as I think that I am?

The Elephant asks a lot of questions like this. Are you sure? What if? What if? What if?

delaware_river_night

It’s so strange. It’s so shamed. It’s incredibly scary.

Coming out, being authentic and being brave, in this unique way is a winsome, losesome (link has before-after pics!). Here, I would like to get out everything that I can on the topic of being transgender, the good and the bad. Once this introduction series is complete, I want to dive into trans topics and issues, and preferably be done with the intro portion of this blog.

The following section is a pro and con, reversed. It’s based solely on my own experience as a white-passing trans woman. Don’t worry though there’s plenty of outspoken trans and nonbinary people out in the blogosphere, so find them (Laverne Cox is my fave!), and read their stories because their narratives will be much different than mine, believe me.

believe-me

Saving the Best for Last: the Cons

  • Pronouns being disrespected.

    • There’s always those a******* that don’t care how pretty you look, or how you prefer to be referred to. You’ll step out of the house, the voice on fleek, and the look right off the runway (heels and all), and they’ll still say: “Sir.” or “He/Him.
      tumblr_m99xqjARWx1qlvwnco1_400
  • Medically transitioning is tricky

    • It’s completely up to each individual what their transition requires, but a lot of places require some sort of medical transition in order to legally transition. So whether you’re going on hormones to make up for what your body needs or you’re doing top or bottom surgery is completely up to you. There’s a lot of information out there, but not a whole lot of help in making sense of it all, nor is there an easy way to know if any of it is right for you, and even then the cost-versus-insurance-coverage-reality isn’t too pretty either.
      wtf
  • Legally transitioning is trickier

    • I guess I can understand why changing one’s birth certificate, social security card, and identifications have to be made ridiculously difficult. I mean, all these shady people stealing money or hiding from debt collectors, and Austin Powers, James Bond, and Archer are running around causing mischief as international spies… Honey, I only want to be called Brienna by the police when they pull me over because they think I don’t have a seatbelt on, and not get a side-eye from the more-than-occasional bartender or librarian.
      936613b2cfa7c940c8ba6e91a83b743d (1)
  • Dating seems impossible

    • At least dating like any “normal” (aka cisgender) girl seems impossible. Not only does it feel incredibly unsafe to broadcast being trans to strangers (oh hello!) on a dating app, but even coming clean about being trans on the first date or within the first ten messages, doesn’t always bear the most beautiful fruit. I know that I for one am ruling out straight men.
      trans dating

The Best: the Pros

  • Sometimes you’ll feel like a goddess

    • It happened after I had read Leslie Feinberg’s  work, diving into third genders in other cultures. In the past trans women have been the guardians of culture, of gods, of kings, and of secrets and teachings. That history in addition to my own and the knowledge of all that I’ve overcome makes for a lot to be proud of. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re strong enough to carry on against all odds, makes you feel superhumanly powerful.
      runway
  • It’s a huge weight off of your shoulders

    • What was once an insuperable secret is now your personal achievement. You once gasped and groaned at the thought of telling anyone at all. Now, you might be a little proud, or at least, accustomed to coming out now, so it’s no biggie!
      relief.gif
  • All the a******* make themselves known

    • They’ll be easier to avoid! Even before you’re out of the closet young trans-awan, you’ve surely come across these bigots. They don’t even need to open their mouths sometimes! Sometimes their face says it all.
      she-came-that-way
  • Nothing feels better than the truth

    • Unless you’re on the receiving end of some bad news truth, the truth is always good. Hearing it and sharing it feels amazing! Being authentic, being true to yourself, living and standing in your truth, feels amazing, and you have to remember that in the end; that’s all that matters. You were honest. They were jerks. You were real. All those friends that stopped talking to you were fake.
      bailey-jay

As of this moment, no one has stopped and harassed me in a bathroom or locker room yet. However, once that happens, because I feel, statistically speaking, it will, I will post that into the “Cons” section in a follow-up piece. Until then:

giphy

There may be more to this in the future as topics arise and memories are spurred to the forefront of my mind. For the time being though, this is it. So thanks for reading; comments are off, message me!

giphy (1)